food for the body, the body for the sport, the sport for the mind, the mind for the art of life...

or did you get it the other way round?

修行は何のためですか？

と、一度剣道の先生に聞いた。しかし返された答えは、「修行のためです」だけ。そんな回答に満足できるはずもなく、ずっと気になっていた。今の僕にはわかった。これが修行の真意です：

　　ありのままの人生のすべたは、修行でありながら、
　　　　　　あらゆるの修行は、おもいがままの人生が過ごせるようになるためである。

これは無意味な循環ではない。「おもいがまま」の人生は、もし手に入れられても、ずっと続けられるものではない。何かの成功を収めれば、その後も同じように成功していくのはああいう簡単な事ではない。人間的に進化しなければ、何かを身につけなければ、できない。一回目の成功は、多分努力次第ですが、次々との成功なら、「自然体」の磨きが必要だ。成功なら、成功しかできない自然体を身につける必要がある。そしてその「自然体」を磨くのは、まさに修行である。

一年以上かけて水泳の一大成果です。泳ぐとき、スムーズに進みたければ、綺麗な姿勢が必要です。しかし、その綺麗な姿勢を身につけるには、日頃泳ぐとき、必死に綺麗な姿勢を保ちながら泳ぐトレーニングが必要です。

もう一つの意味がある。それは、人生は決してすべてを予想できる直線のような方程式ではない。しかし、その予想の付かない人生を、生きたいように生きていくには、なにかの力が必要です。どんなときにも、生きたいように生きられる力は、それは上記の「自然体」の強さです。

あなたの自然体を、どこまで維持できますか？

i think american/singapore/wadeva idol sucks.

the truth is that the media moulds us as much as we make the media. and if we put bitches on TV, that's what our children will become. is that what we really want?

we all know that everything on tv is make-believe. yes, it is true that the recording music world is full of bitches and the road to success is arduous and bitter, but isn't trying to duplicate that on the screen a little too simplistic? it's the same thing what all the survival/reality shows are doing. make-believe. so you can't succeed out there. so let's give you a chance to belive that you can make it here. ok, sure, some do make it. but at what price?

i think we have enough bitches around. and i don't think i want our future generation to be some low-class bitch that only knows how to critisize people in front of them. they've gotta learn some humility, some patience, some forgiveness. true, sometimes, some people just need some truth shouted in their face for them to improve. but most people, for most of the time, just need someone to encourge them, and to believe that they can make it - and if you believe in them enough, many of them do.

american tv sucks.

今日は大変幸せだった。散歩ができて、幸せだった。

僕にとっての幸せはね、大変簡単なものだ。簡単すぎたかもしれない。それは、風の効くいい天気に、ＭＰ３の入った携帯、一人での散歩。音楽のリズムと風の涼しさと僕のリズムと周りの景色や音のリズムが重なり合うとき、なんだか映画みたいに美しく、それだけ感じたら、僕はつい笑ってしまう。一人でいてもそんなに幸せなんて、想像できないでしょう。いいえ、これは一人でできる幸せではない。音楽を作った人たち、仕事が順調に進んでいるように支えてくれた人たち、町を作った人たちも、その幸せの為に努力してくれた。でも、こんな幸せを感じるには、一人にいて、周りのことをいちいち気づくのが大切なんだ。

そう、気づけば、一人で雨を見るだけでも十分に幸せだ。複雑なことではないけど、簡単すぎて、おそらくできない人もいるでしょう。でも僕にとって、人生の一番幸せな時は、そういうようにすごせた時間だった。別に人と付き合うのがいやではないけど、僕にとって、人といる時間より、自分でいる時間の方が大切、かな。

Sitting here by the window
With the company of the sound of the rain
There must be something about this moment that makes it feel
Like poetry
Without having to break lines
Without rhyme or meter.
It must be how simple it all is
That has made it a little profound.
When i lean my cheek to the window grill,
I can feel the breeze brushing by.
I don't know how else to put it,
But for this moment, everything feels complete,
Like the rain, the breeze and i were all that existed
And we were each a stanza in a poem,
Conversing.

work

I was bored...



not great but ah well... was bored.

the abc's of doodling...

5/6 of the lifts were not operating today, and there were 4 camps of people:

(A) Those waiting at the first floor queueing to get into the lift.
(B) Those deciding to get some other errands done first before coming back.
(C) Those who decided they will take the stairs.
(D) Those who take the stairs up in order to take the lift down and up again.

Naturally my problem-solving job hazard cum second nature made me take (D) without even thinking.

Anyway, made me think about time/cost living in the city again. Lifts fold land and time - pretty much like a space warp. It makes it feasible to support the city growth beyond a 1:1 vertical density while keeping the amount of time required to access this new space reasonable. Which is to say, if there were no lifts and land were still that expensive... we'd probably taking perhaps the first (and last) 1/2 or 1 h of our working day, walking up stairs... Considering the price of professional time, this is no small saving!

Makes me feel once again that the dimensions of city life are so different from non-city living. The numbers work differently. But when we're in it, we don't even realise.

I must have told you before
That if you walk that quickly
Expecting me to catch up, to find you,
I would, one day, just stand there
And let you go.
I guess this is that morning I am left behind with my
Broken pieces I have to pick up and go on
My own journey, apart from yours, and I'm sure
You have your own broken pieces too, that you
Pile high, like a tower of treasure you peer over
To see, at one time, only me.
Yes, I am honoured that at one time
I was the only thing you looked at;
But it is tiring, as much as I have been draining for you,
That I have to look over that tour of pride
To really see your face.
You are pretty,
But it was not your pretty face that deserved me -
It was something all the way deeper inside, that I knew
Can shine like a star. That is how I see you -
You have shown me its glitter -
But you have built a labyrinth around it,
And hidden away the very gem that makes you precious.
You closed your doors again - but this time
I'm too tired to scale your walls
To find again that precious gem
You have hidden too deep in.

did this quite some time ago...
it's pinned up on my notice board currently.

why must love
in all its gentleness
when it stretches out its hand, offer both
to be hurt, 
            and to hurt?
that as much as
we bare ourselves, our weaknesses to our beloved,
willing and ready
to suffer any pain to see our loved one smile,
sometimes,
we make them cry inside - 
sometimes so badly
we can almost see the fresh wound
that will dry into another rough scar
on a heart that for a little time,
in our arms, 
soft and warm, 
beat so gently in its rest?

first time doing this on a computer.

orange doodling

I don't look at you too much
But more and more, like an athlete who steps up his_
_training sessions before a competition, 
I slow down to imagine what it would be like
        When I'm alone at night, or when
        You're out or when I am,
If you should be suddenly gone one day -

Would I break down to cry,
Or would I find myself already too ready
To accept that this is part of the whole scheme of things?
For in my life you have been like a door,
An open one at times, and
A closed one at times, and at times
I wished that the door were gone and I could go out and play;

But this is one of those mornings
I can imagine that irreconcilable chasm
That would inevitably stand between you and me like the Night 
Between Yesterday and Today. When I wake up, I would lean_ 
_against the wall
Cold from the night, recalling
What I was like yesterday, trying to warm myself_
_with the same blood
That flowed in my veins the day before, and the distance,_
_I know,
Would hit me. 

        And I would feel within my arms
The arms that were shorter and fingers less deft,
Still alive and wanting to reach out and run into your embrace
To hear you say that I have done well
        even though my best no longer seems good enough 
        for the world around me
And I would bring to memory those precious scenes
When you stood beside me in front of the whole school on_
_Prize Giving Day
Proud that I have been your son.

Yet, when I saw you in the morning,
I didn't know what to say to you.
I simply let the day lead me into itself,
Walking into the distance knowing well that one day_
_when I turned around
You would not be there.

Sorry, can't do my linebreaks properly here :|
"_" at the end of the line indicates no line break!

think about doors that open by themselves, as if they were alive. think about rooms that can become cold in the day and boxes that light up. think about boxes that can make voices come out of nowhere. think about the energy delivered into our homes, as if from nowhere. think about the power plants that generate all this power. think about the fossil fuels that burn to release the energy to drive power plants. think about the lives that used to be in the fossiles that now burn to work for us, as if their ghosts have been called back to life into slavery to our urban fetishes. is this not the city, where the living and the dead live together? is this not the city where the dead still live in their death and those alive are dead in their living?

nothing comes from nothing. if the fan can move by itself, surely something, someone must have poured its energy into it. it's just so immense, the amount of energy we release. sometimes i think that all this energy running around is really the ghosts of the past, that all urbanisation must necessary suck the life out of someone or something in order to run itself.

think about outsourcing. think about how little we pay those workers out there to maintain our margins over here. think about how little Singapore pays foreign construction workers to build its prosperity.

if we found stupid aliens on mars, we'd probably bring them back to work in factories for us as well.

Imagine a pill...

that would be the fruit of Genetics, Nano Technology and Biotechnology, that when swallowed, would go into your system and find its way around your body, using the protein that it finds around to build components required for more complex genetic computations, planting the appropriate components in specific parts of the body, and finally finding its way to the brain, planting its sensory components there to receive instruction from the brain.

Imagine that this system could capture images in the retina and save them or send them out to external systems, giving you a kind of printable photographic memory that obseletes the camera, taking advantage of the eyes which are by far more perfect nearer perfection that any lens possible.

Imagine being able to authenticate your identity in a way that allows you to go shopping without having to bring even a card. You just take what you what and go home.

Imagine being able to access information without a compture or a phone or anything, knowing all, yet not knowing anything.

Imagine messaging in your head, being telepathically connected to the world.

Imagine being able to move from country to country without needing a passport.

Imagine having to swallow a second pill because there were some problems with the first.

Imagine the pill to have some bugs and you go into security alert.

Imagine someone hacking into you and you are screwed because you stored too many important things not in your brain, but in the system inside your brain.

Imagine being able to do your work suntanning on a resort island and nobody knows you are in your swimming trunks.

Imagine getting paid for renting out five minutes of your brain a day.

Imagine being able to learn anything so quickly that people really realise the value of the journey.

Imagine how work and leisure fuse so readily it becomes ever more important to learn how work could be enjoyable, and that work is an inevitable part of life.

Imagine a different pill that is able to uninstall all this.

So, would you rather the blue pill or the red pill?