There is no equality, neither from birth nor into death - except in our capacity to desire happiness and release.

Eternal life is the single most terrifying, most crippling, and most abusable, and indeed most abused meme the human mind has ever conceived. I don't wanna live forever I wanna be free.

You are your own Master

Sometimes I think a life of knowledge can be like being in a sadomasochistic relationship with yourself, where you, instantly both the dominant and submissive, have decided to play by a pre-agreed set of rules to push through the pain to hit that orgasmic pleasure which simultaneously makes the world around you more real and completely unreal. That's why the knowledgable go around saying that the truth will set you free.

Music - another thought

Music is our most universal endeavor to consciously experience time.

Because music is made of vibrations.
And vibrations is made of rhythm.
Music is not in the pitch but in the beat.

The beat is always moving forward.
It does not stop, it does not wait.
But our experience of the beat is not mechanical.
Sometimes one whole sequence can feel like a split second.
Sometimes one beat can feel like forever.

But if we move with the beat, we become synchronized with it.
We don't feel its passing; we feel it dancing.
That's when we feel like the beat can last forever.

And in that moment, time stops, and we live in an eternity in the space-time of the song.
And we begin to think we understand,
for that moment,
how there can be a reality that continues in its motion
even when all time has ended for us.

I can be anything but ordinary,

because ordinariness is an impossible ideal,

created by leaders and statisticians who want to make you think that

our very existence which makes us inevitably unique can be "resolved" when we align ourselves with Average Joe -

because managing identical "ordinary" people who behave predictably makes their job easier and their reward bigger - by punishing people who do not conform and labeling them "monsters", and by outsourcing the cost of management to the population at large,

who do everything they can to fit into the "average" ideals set in front of them. In that sense,

the only people who can actually become average joes are obsessive idealists - who have paid the price and perfected their art of fitting into that mould of average-ness - what a waste of exceptional talent that would be!

That is why I refuse to be ordinary.

because all life based on evolution hinges on being special.

You, are special.

Go and do your special thing today.

Four Freedoms

Freedom is when you are happy getting tied up using a firm rope that makes visible your comfort zone, knowing that no distance you wander can lead you over the cliff.

Freedom is when pain is so rhythmical you learn ignore it by habit, and when it is taken from you you feel a release that makes you realize you never learnt to truly ignore it.

Freedom is the illusion of free will and informed choice, when you are made to think you are an individual capable of making intelligent decisions unswayed by something out there influencing you for its exclusive benefit.

Freedom is realizing that the experience of freedom is an illusion that exists only when your mind makes you think you are exempt from obeying, even though your act of not obeying in fact obeys the mechanisms of something outside your idea of free will.

Scars

whatever we to do ourselves is what we conclude after agonizing rationalizing to be the best we can do to stay alive in minimal pain. and whoever says otherwise probably never knew what pain is.