Scrape "fate". Mayhaps, I have come to decide that fate IS decision. The decision to take hold of something when it comes near you, and the decision to be taken hold of. Maybe it's not that you just can't "clique" with someone - but that you have decided not to open your heart, not to connect. You did away with the handshaking protocol and now you're out of phase. Maybe. But every so often I find it so hard to make friends I can connect to. At the level I would like to. And once in a while I talk to someone who seem to "really understand". I wouldn't like to put people down and think that they're too shallow, but perhaps I should ask myself, why I must deny myself of friendship and think so much and drive myself into solitude. Today, I found out that, if you end up alone, you probably DECIDED to be alone. But as strange as it seems, I think I'm still trying to figure out why I would decide to be alone...