Hi. I've heard much about this education thing. Is it for my child and can it make him successful?

Thank you for calling. Sure it is for your child. Our program ensures that we make as many people as mediocre as possible.

Mediocre? Not successful?

Success is, if you will, like a painting, and mediocrity is a plain canvas. The plainer the canvas, the better we can help your child paint a picture of success.

Success is like a picture? I thought you either are successful or you are not?

Rest assured, sir, we are trained story tellers. We can make anyone think they will be happy by being successful in helping our School remain profitable. Educated people are like dumb machines - they're so much easier to govern!

You WHAT?

I apologize for my rant: let me rephrase, sir. Success is a journey and we help your child get there.

Oh. Okay. Hmmm. So your success thing comes with this happiness thing as well?

Success is a journey, sir. But to be honest we do get weirdos saying they are not happy with our package. Unlike you sir, these people aren't very educated, don't you think?

So you are expert story tellers and you can make anyone happy? I'm not so good today could you tell me a story and make me happy?

I'm afraid that's not how it works, sir. But if you are interested, we have this I Believe I'm Happy program for adults. It will train you in all 10 characteristics common to all happy people.

Uh-huh

Would you like us to send you more information on it?

It's okay I'll think about it. Thanks.

Thank you for calling, sir. We wish you and your child success.